This past week, I had a lot to get done. There was an inordinate amount of things on my “to-do list.” There were things to do at home. Things that needed to get done at the church. And besides that, it was a thesis week for me - so I really needed to get some good studying done in order to stay on pace to complete my thesis. So Monday, after a very busy and filled week of work at the church, I stayed home and did most of the little projects around the house that needed to get done. But I was starting to feel tired and weak. More than normal – even after a very busy week. I didn’t think that much about it and the next day we continued with our plans. We finished some more things that needed to get done. I did some studying for my thesis. And we drove to the Cities to see the Twins play. The game went longer than we expected, ending with a 3-run walk-off homerun by Torii Hunter in the bottom of the 11th inning. So, it was nearly 2 o’clock in the morning when we got home. Of course, I expected to be tired then.
Then Wednesday hit. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I felt slow. And when the afternoon rolled around, I was wiped out. I laid down for a little bit and the next thing I knew it was four hours later. No work done. None around the house. None on my thesis. None on the sermon I had to write for classis. I had two meetings at the church that night, so I got up and went to those without even taking the time to eat dinner. I wasn’t hungry; I was too tired to be hungry. Near the end of the second meeting, I started feeling light-headed and woozy. I just wrote it off as a result of not eating. And so I went home and laid down again, and fell asleep. And I slept until 4 p.m. the next day! And for two entire days, I was sick. I was exhausted, queasy, and ill.
But I had so much to get done. And none of it was getting done while I was lying in bed for two days (Well, some of it was, because my wonderful wife was picking up a lot of the slack from me being absent). When the weekend rolled around, I felt a lot better, but still could only be active for about five hours before I was completely wiped out again. When I finally thought I had kicked it for good, it hit me again on Monday - Labor Day. This time it wasn’t the fever and nausea, it was a massive headache. It felt like I had a concussion. My head pounded and every slight movement of my head made me feel disoriented. Again, I slept all day – from the time I’d gone to bed the night before until 9 p.m. the next night – almost 24 hours straight (which obviously meant I didn’t get anything done). I lost an entire week. And I really didn’t have enough time to get everything done in the first place. That left me frustrated, annoyed, and of course, overwhelmed.
Then in my daily reading, I ran across a meditation on patience. In this chapter, the author reminds us that everything is in God’s hands – including our time. It reminded me that the unplanned and unwanted events in our lives actually exist for our good – for our benefit. At the time (and even afterwards), they seem more like an intrusion and a detour from the schedule we had set for ourselves and the things we wanted to get accomplished. For me, this sickness had set me back a week in my thesis study, made me late for submitting my classical sermon (and this newsletter article), and forced me to miss meetings and times of fellowship with other people. But, as I’ve been reflecting on it, with Wendy’s help, we’ve started to recognize some of the ways in which we need to readjust our lives to make the pace of life a little more manageable and a little more in step with God’s will for our lives.
For example, I started to see how much our “instant” world has infiltrated my thinking. I want to get things done now. I want to see results now. I want the house to be ready. I want my thesis to be written. I want small groups to be started. I want sermons to be written. I want tapes to be converted to digital media. I want building projects to be started. I want outreach programs to be launched. I want discipleship meetings to produce fruit. I want worship services to be planned. I want my office to be set up and organized. I want bills to be paid and debt to be paid off. I want all of these things to get done. And I want them done now (or very soon after now)! But I have to realize and accept the fact that I cannot continue to attempt to do the same amount of things I could when I was working full-time in only two-thirds the amount of time. It is going to take a little longer, because every third week I have to set aside that time to devote to studying for my thesis. And I have to realize that I cannot entertain the thoughts of taking on anything more, as alluring and intriguing and enjoyable as they might be. And most importantly, I believe, I have to realize that it is not pleasing to God to run myself ragged trying to cram in as many things as I can (all for Him, of course!), and lose sight of who is really in control of my schedule.
I must continually acknowledge who is actually in control. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Literally the Hebrew says, “Stop! (or Relax!) And know that I (emphasized) am God.” The Lord is saying, “I am God. Not you.” We are running around, trying to accomplish so many things and fill our days with activities and enterprises, even with the intention of bringing glory to him. But we quickly begin to deceive ourselves into thinking that we can handle all this on our own. We know what is best for ourselves. We know the best way to organize our time. We know how to run our lives. We start to exchange God’s role with our role. And that’s why God says in Psalm 46: “Stop. Relax. Slow down. I’m God, you’re not. You don’t have to try to play God. I can handle that sufficiently on my own. If you don’t slow down, you will wear yourself out and get sick, because you can’t handle playing God.” And that should actually be a very reassuring thing to us.
One thing I have learned is that “lack of time” often leads to prayerlessness. Prayer gets shoved aside because our schedules are so full of other things. And when prayer gets shoved aside, God gets pushed out of the picture a little more. And when things come along that throw off our schedule, we get frustrated and angry and think it is an invasion on our time, forgetting that time itself is a gift from God. And when God decides to permit an event that is unplanned or unwanted by us to come into our lives, we must embrace it by faith and trust that he knows what he is doing. The entire Bible teaches us this valuable lesson. When delays and detours and opposition go against our schedules and plans and cause frustration for us, we must bank our faith on God’s sovereign grace and his sovereign purpose to bring about something even better in our lives.
We look at delays in our lives – whether it be a week of sickness, or ten minutes in a grocery line, or forty minutes in traffic, or a day of distractions, or a month of chaos, or a year of struggles – and too often see it as only a great hindrance. But God always has something better in store than we expect or anticipate. But it often requires patience on our part. It requires waiting. Abraham was 100 years old before he received the son promised to him. Joseph had to wait 2 years in prison before the cupbearer remembered to tell the Pharaoh that he could interpret dreams. And during his time as second in command, there was 7 years of famine. And when the later Pharaoh forgot about Joseph, the Israelites fell into slavery for 430 years. And upon their exodus from Egypt, they wandered around in the desert for 40 more years! And then it took seven years for them to finish the conquest of Canaan, the Promised Land. And near the end of the time when the Judges ruled over Israel, there was a 40 year period where they were subjects of the Philistines. During Elijah’s ministry there was no rain for 3 and a half years. During the reign of King Solomon, it took 7 years to build the temple. After the kingdoms divided, the northern kingdom (Israel) endured 200 years of bad kings before falling into the hands of Assyria. The southern kingdom (Judah) had 350 years of some good and some bad kings before falling into the hands of Babylon, where they would be in exile for 70 years. When they finally returned to their land, it took them 20 years to rebuild the temple. And after it was destroyed again, it took 46 years to build it the third time. Most notably, from the time the last prophet spoke until the time the Messiah arrived, there was a period of almost 500 years! The Bible is full of examples of people who had to wait years for what they looked forward to and anticipated. Generations went by before prayers were answered. God didn’t work based on their schedules. No, he set the agenda. He did it on his timetable – according to his schedule.
We would do well to be often reminded of this truth. An astounding truth of the Bible is that God works for those who wait. Good things do come to those who wait. Isaiah 64:4 says, “Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.” Those who wait for him – not those who work hard for him. Not those who fill their schedules with so much stuff they can’t take time to sleep or pray. God acts on behalf of those who wait for him. God is the one working. We are the ones waiting. He is in charge of the schedule. Of course, we still have to make plans and do things, but when the unplanned, unwanted, unexpected events happen in our lives, we look to the Lord and his sovereign goodness and trust that he has good reason to bring about this event in our lives at this time. Only by trusting in his wisdom and grace can we find the joy even in times of trial.
“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the one who seeks him.” – Lam. 3:25
